JOKE OF THE WEEK - NAIJA WAHALA

The relatives of the Minister of Science and Technology, Professor Ita Okon Bassey, do not like him. The man is living on Mars and his kinsmen are doing nothing to bring him back to earth.

The Minister has now announced that Nigeria will put its first set of astronauts to space in 2015. Foolish leaders who cannot pay youth corpers are going to space in three years. Don't you just love these characters and the water they drink in Abuja? By the way, what are the things that could go wrong with the launch of a Naija space shuttle?

(1) NEPA takes light during launch, (2)space shuttle is loaded with contaminated liquid hydrogen and oxygen imported from Cameroon. (3)Christians complain that there are more Moslem astronauts on board. (4)Moslems complain that there are more Christian astronauts on board. (5)minorities complain that the astronauts are mostly Hausa, Igbo, and Yoruba. (6)space shuttle collides with cows at the launch site. (7)Boko Haram flies a representative to Abuja to denounce the launch of another Western technology by infidels. (8)the oga who should authorize the launch is "not on seat" today. (9)the National Assembly denounces the launch because she is yet to get her own share of the space shuttle appropriation. (10)Arunmah Oteh complains that a space shuttle was not included in her package of official vehicles. (11)President Jonathan is yet to constitute a committee to authorize the launch. (12)Buhari calls the astranauts baboons and dogs and promises bloodshed if launch fails.

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VIOLENCE IN CROSS RIVER LEAVES 30 DEAD INCLUDING VILLAGE RULER AND 4 POLICEMEN

30 people were allegedly killed while four police officers and the village head of Ntan Obu Ukpe in Eniong in Odukpani local government area of Cross River State were beheaded in a communal clash between the Ntan Obu and the Ikpanya in Ibiono local government area of Akwa Ibom State on Tuesday. According to a local newspaper, about 2,000 indigenes of Ntan Obu were forced to take refuge in nearby communities of Odukpani council as many houses including churches were destroyed during the crisis. The Chairman of Odukpani Local council, Stephen Asuquo, while confirming the incident, told journalists that the people of Ntan Obu were attacked by the Ikpanaya neighbouring community of Akwa Ibom State, last week. "The remote cause, I can say, is the struggle by people from the Ikpanya for the land that belongs to the Ntan Obu.Ikpanya is in Ibiono council of Akwa Ibom State while Ntan Obu is in Odukpani council in Cross River State," he said. Source: newsnigeriana

If money don't matter today...

...this Gucci bag and... ...this Jil Sander skirt would be mine. (Eğer para sorun olmasaydı, bu Gucci çanta ve Jil Sander etek benim olurdu.) Herkese bol alışverişli bol Shopping Fest'li haftasonlarıı! ;)

D1 OUT OF HOSPITAL AFTER SUCCESSFUL SURGERY

D1 Dayo Adeneye was just recently released from an ikoyi hospital where he just had appendicitis operation, word out is that he is home and doing well, I hope he gets well soon.

Adrianne Palicki Red Hot and Blue Bikini Pictures for Maxim

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