JOKE OF THE WEEK - NAIJA WAHALA

The relatives of the Minister of Science and Technology, Professor Ita Okon Bassey, do not like him. The man is living on Mars and his kinsmen are doing nothing to bring him back to earth.

The Minister has now announced that Nigeria will put its first set of astronauts to space in 2015. Foolish leaders who cannot pay youth corpers are going to space in three years. Don't you just love these characters and the water they drink in Abuja? By the way, what are the things that could go wrong with the launch of a Naija space shuttle?

(1) NEPA takes light during launch, (2)space shuttle is loaded with contaminated liquid hydrogen and oxygen imported from Cameroon. (3)Christians complain that there are more Moslem astronauts on board. (4)Moslems complain that there are more Christian astronauts on board. (5)minorities complain that the astronauts are mostly Hausa, Igbo, and Yoruba. (6)space shuttle collides with cows at the launch site. (7)Boko Haram flies a representative to Abuja to denounce the launch of another Western technology by infidels. (8)the oga who should authorize the launch is "not on seat" today. (9)the National Assembly denounces the launch because she is yet to get her own share of the space shuttle appropriation. (10)Arunmah Oteh complains that a space shuttle was not included in her package of official vehicles. (11)President Jonathan is yet to constitute a committee to authorize the launch. (12)Buhari calls the astranauts baboons and dogs and promises bloodshed if launch fails.

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VIOLENCE IN CROSS RIVER LEAVES 30 DEAD INCLUDING VILLAGE RULER AND 4 POLICEMEN

30 people were allegedly killed while four police officers and the village head of Ntan Obu Ukpe in Eniong in Odukpani local government area of Cross River State were beheaded in a communal clash between the Ntan Obu and the Ikpanya in Ibiono local government area of Akwa Ibom State on Tuesday. According to a local newspaper, about 2,000 indigenes of Ntan Obu were forced to take refuge in nearby communities of Odukpani council as many houses including churches were destroyed during the crisis. The Chairman of Odukpani Local council, Stephen Asuquo, while confirming the incident, told journalists that the people of Ntan Obu were attacked by the Ikpanaya neighbouring community of Akwa Ibom State, last week. "The remote cause, I can say, is the struggle by people from the Ikpanya for the land that belongs to the Ntan Obu.Ikpanya is in Ibiono council of Akwa Ibom State while Ntan Obu is in Odukpani council in Cross River State," he said. Source: newsnigeriana

I REGRET VOTING JONATHAN -- DON JAZZY

That my one vote added to put the current government in power is one decision i regret with all my heart. -- Those were the words of Michael Elebeli Collins, popularly known as Don Jazzy in a recent interview with talk of naija correspondent Osaremen Ehi James over the groups current stance on Pres. Gooduck Jonathan fuel subsidy removal. You would recollect that at the time of the April elections Pres. Goodluck Jonathan had received massive support from people in show business especially as it would seem, from the Mohits crew (trying to be more specific) through that popular interview session where D`banj assumed to be representing the entire youths of the federation had tried asking the current president questions that obviously he himself could not understand. But in the words of the Mo hits boss, he claims that the group never received anything for their support and never asked for it, they only showed their support because they believed {He} GEJ ...

CHARLES TAYLOR RECIEVES SENTENCE FOR WAR CRIMES & CRIMES AGAINTS HUMANITY

Charles Taylor, 64, the first former head of state to be convicted of war crimes since World War II was sentenced to 50 years in prison yesterday by an international court in The Hague, Netherlands. Taylor is due to serve his sentence at a high security prison in Britain. There is no death penalty in international criminal law. The six years he spent detained during the trial will count against his term. Meanwhile, he is appealing his conviction. Dressed in a blue suit and yellow tie, Taylor sat impassively through the roughly 45minute sentencing. Hands clasped in front of his mouth and brow furrowed, Taylor shifted uneasily when the camera broadcasting proceedings settled on him. He directed his gaze downward while Presiding Judge Richard Lussick read the sentencing statement, which began with a horror cabinet of carnage committed in Sierra Leone by rebels from the Revolutionary United Front, which the former president backed. "The accused has been found responsible...

Adrianne Palicki Red Hot and Blue Bikini Pictures for Maxim

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